This land is your land, this land is my land
--WG, 1956
I just returned from my hamesh trip to Israel. One more and I get a T-shirt! Actually, I got one on this trip and the previous one, so I’ll have to think of a different reward. This trip was affiliated with the Ben Gurion Society, the group with which I visited Argentina and Brazil a few years ago. The current trip was designed to follow in the footsteps of its namesake, Israel’s first Prime Minister. It was a fascinating journey. Follow me as I lead you through it.
המינפ בבלב דוע לכ | Kol ’od balevav P’nimah | As long as in the heart, within, |
| --NHI, 1878 |
The day before I left, I heard a woman speaking Hebrew while I was visiting the doctor. When she finished, I told her I was going to Israel the next day. She asked me if I spoke any Hebrew. I replied, “ben-zonah,” but she did not seem impressed. I guess she had not seen Revenge of the Nerds.
Each of the other national trips I joined featured a large contingent of people from the San Francisco team. On this trip, I was the only one. While I knew that I would meet many great people and make lots of new friends, I was disappointed that I would not have local friends with whom to share memories after I returned as I still do with previous trips. I was also anxious about intercepting the team en route as I had no information about who else was going and there was some confusion about the status of my plane ticket.
Nevertheless, like the HAL 9000 computer, I still had the utmost confidence in the Mission and I embarked on the first of two back-to-back redeyes so I could spend some time with my folks in NY. Dad collected me at JFK and took me to Grandpa and Grandma’s apartment as he needed assistance removing the last items before it was sold. After that, I showered, ate, checked email and current stock market bets, delivered some gifts that I brought for him and Mom, and returned to JFK early enough to guarantee myself a berth on the JFK-TLV shuttle.
I got to the airport so early that El Al was not yet ready for me--most people aren’t--so I began reconnaissance to find others who might be on my trip. I finally met a guy who coincidentally was living in Buenos Aires when I visited and we started getting to know each other.
After check-in, Mom, Dad, and I cruised the shops and had a few drinks. In the bar, we noticed a bunch of soldiers who were having their last drinks before shipping out to Iraq. The night before I left, my Tennis Club friends were concerned about my safety in Israel. I was not too concerned and I felt much safer than those who were Baghdad bound. I also noticed an intriguing user interface about which I’d read and previously seen in Schipol Airport last summer.
There is so much uncertainty in travel that I’m never confident that I’m really going until my seat is in the plane’s seat. Once I accomplish this, I can relax as the responsibilities are now someone else’s. I was, however, disappointed that none of the people on my trip were seated near me. The travel agent obviously knows who we are, yet on this and every previous trip that I’ve taken, the agent dispersed us around the plane. Haven’t Jews had enough dispersion issues over the years? Since much of my motivation for attending these trips is meeting people, this separation does not serve me well. I’ve heard people complaining about this travel agent for years, but I guess they have an exclusive non-competitive contract.
When I finally reached Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv, I was relieved and encouraged to start meeting my travel companions. We sped off to Jerusalem to stay at the hotel that is the favorite of President Clinton. Indeed every hotel of the trip was at or near the top of some magazine’s best hotels list. Unlike the hotel I enjoyed in Budapest last summer, none of them claimed that they were the third best hotel in Europe right behind Paris Hilton--an excellent location many have enjoyed, but they had their charms.
My roommate and I woke up early the first day and went shul shopping. Since he works in Manhattan, he was comfortable jay walking and did not glue me to street corners waiting for lights to change as many friends at home do. We began with the Great Synagogue, sailed over to the Italian Conegliano Synagogue, and completed our hat trick at Kol Haneshima. The Conegliano Synagogue was my favorite and I enjoyed reading about Abramo, Isacco, and Giacobbe. One leader took care of us and asked me something that sounded like “Tutto passo?” Sensing his meaning from context, I replied, “ça va bien, grazie.” I guess I guessed correctly. Recognizing talent, he honored me with an aliyah. Grazie for coming up!
Later that day at the Old City, our guide explained that Suleiman the Magnificent had the walls built a few centuries ago. In the rhetorical pedagogy that would proceed to punctuate her pronouncements she asked us why he was called the “Magnificent.” “You’ll have to ask the ladies,” I replied. “Right,” she confirmed, “he was very handsome.” This got us off to a swell start and I was pleased that she answered all of my questions correctly too. Sababa m’od! We then visited the Western Wall and tunnels, where I found a great spot for Mom’s prayer, before heading back to the hotel.
That evening, we were on our own for dinner so some of us trolled Ben Yehuda Street, a popular shopping area. I was glad to see that one of my favorite stores was still there as I remembered taking DD there to buy slingshots two years ago. Then, since it was St. Patrick’s Day, I went to an Irish pub and watched Celtic women perform on large screen TVs. I don’t like to miss a holiday.
The next day we visited Yad Vashem, one of a handful of sites that I’ve seen on every trip to Israel. The newest building had opened right before my previous visit, but I did not get to see it all then so I was glad to have another opportunity. Our guide made a point of indicating that two of the monuments there were the same as ones I saw in the Warsaw Ghetto in 2005. We also saw a monument in honor of Janusz Korczak, whose orphanage I visited in Poland.
Every human being, my dear, must thus be viewed according to what it is good for, for none of us, no not one, is perfect; and were we to love none who had imperfections, this world would be a desert for our love.
--TJ, 1790
The trip was designed to follow in the footsteps of David Ben Gurion, the first Prime Minister of Israel. He was likened to George Washington, but for me, Thomas Jefferson was a better comparison. Like Jefferson, he had a key role in creating the philosophy behind a new nation, he read and owned a tremendous number of books, and he wrote the Declaration of Independence.
Determine never to be idle...It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
--TJ, 1790
Technically, all of the adventures up until this point were enjoyed only by the Pre-Mission participants. We were like the away team providing early reconnaissance. After a few days of activities, we picked up several dozen more people and motored off to the Atlit detainee camp. This place was pretty spooky for me. Since the British used it to detain illegal immigrants to Palestine, it had box cars, guard towers, barbed wire, and clothes washers similar to those I saw at Auschwitz and Majdanek two years ago. Indeed, many people who were interned here also did time at concentration camps. Fortunately, to cleanse the palate, we saw a delightful show performed by young girls while enjoying the first of many tremendous meals.
Parts of these trips are designed to show us all the good work that our donations support. On this trip I enjoyed these visits more than I had on previous trips. I enjoyed entertaining the ladies at a day care center, watching kids perform and making friends and arts at the JAFI Absorption Center in Carmiel, and biking around town in search of raging clues with the Ethiopians in Gedera. Of course, I’ve always been a fan of hands on activities.
On our way down south, we took a break to ride donkeys. Always interested in increasing my linguistic cunning, I asked the guide how to say, “nice ass,” in Hebrew. I no longer remember what she said, but her expression will remain etched in my mind a bit longer. We took turns driving and riding the donkeys. Upon observing my technique, one woman remarked that I was a good ass rider. This struck me as something that has additional entendres in other realms. I get the same feeling when I’m playing mixed doubles and my partners say things like, “good hands”, “nice touch”, “great follow through”, and “excellent position”. I can’t wait to learn what some of these other meanings might be.
Later that evening we enjoyed thermal mineral baths at Hammat Gader Recreation Park. These reminded me of the ones I enjoyed in Budapest last summer only I preferred the scenery here.
If an expert says it can't be done, get another expert.
--DG
One of the highlights and main attractions of the trip for me was the opportunity to camp out in a Bedouin village in the Negev Desert for two days. Upon arrival, we were welcomed by camels, which gave us rides to camp. I enjoyed sharing a tent with dozens of women and passing through the lounge on the way to breakfast. It reminded me of college. I’m kidding, Mom; I didn’t eat breakfast in college. We also had a great meal and party at which Bedouin Butter-churn Boy taught me how to play his instrument.
After leaving the Bedouin village, we headed north to visit Ben-Gurion's cabin. On the way, we had a few stops. One of our more challenging hands on activities was participating in Israel Defense Force Officer’s training. We had several physical training and other exercises and also learned to eat like soldiers.
On several of my other trips, I noticed that the women in the group took pictures of themselves with male soldiers. I didn’t think that was quite fair, so I resolved to even things out this trip. Consequently, I gave several woman soldiers the opportunity to be featured in a picture with me. When I learned that one of them studied aerospace at Technion, I dropped the name of a Technion professor with whom I periodically worked at NASA. She knew him too; small world.
The highlight of our visit to Ben-Gurion’s home at Kibbutz Sde Boker was seeing the seminal film, Days of our llamas. It portrayed a small group of people buiding a community in the middle of the desert as Ben-Gurion had done. It also had a back story of a love triangle. In one scene, the woman was holding and petting a llama. A love interest thought that was a good idea and began petting also. Before you could say, “alpaca spooning,” his hand found hers and it was later for the llama! We learned from the tour guide that no one had enjoyed this movie as much as we had further demonstrating the talent of our group. Makom rishon! When we hit Tel Aviv, I tried to find the movie in the video store and the movie theater, but neither one had it so you have to go to Sde Boker to see it as I did.
The machers on the trip asked me about my involvement back home. I told them that I served on a variety of Boards for many years but that I had passed the yad to a new generation. They seemed pleased.
While visiting Independence Hall again, it occurred to me that Israel had a national anthem, Hatikvah, before they had a nation. I found that pretty intriguing since the Star Spangled Banner was not written until 1814 and did not become the United States’ national anthem until 1931. I guess baseball games were preceded by several minutes of silence until then. I wonder what was played when the US won medals at the Olympics.
At the Nativ Center we learned about immigrant IDF soldiers who are not quite Jewish studying to get over the bar. It was a fascinating place and lunch in their cafeteria was delightful.
A number of celebrities including Ben-Gurion’s grandson, the fifth Israeli President Yitzhak Navon, and a former Chief Rabbi of Tel Aviv spoke to us during our trek. Most interesting to me, however, was Rona Ramon, the widow of Ilan Ramon, the Israeli astronaut who perished in the Columbia accident. Knowing my background, people were encouraging me to speak with her after she finished. Of course, I did not need their encouragement. I told Ms. Ramon that I spent a long time in the space program, and that as a founding sponsor of the Challenger Center, which was created after the Challenger accident, I was eager to get involved with whatever organization that she mentioned she would create. She gratefully accepted my card and promised to keep me informed.
We had one last wonderful meal before heading to the airport. At Ben-Gurion airport on the way home, I recognized a woman from my BGS trip to Argentina a few years ago. She was returning from Africa with some Ethiopians. I quietly wondered how many Customs allowed her.
This land was made for you and me
--WG, 1956
With eight meals and snacks per day, the trip was like a cruise without the BINGO. With all the food I ate while I was away, I was concerned about who was going to feed me after I returned. Fortunately, the Club Adam Breakfast Lady told me that she missed me and was eager to resume care. I assured her that I took care of myself while I was away; every day I loaded up with lots of Omega-3 fatty acids and chicas caliente at breakfast. Several seders and business dinners maintained the stuffing momentum after my return.
With a nine hour time difference that would have been ten if the US had not sprung ahead prematurely, I was getting up so early that I was able to workout, enjoy a sunrise mikvah in the Club Adam hot tub, and bike to work all before almost anyone else showed their face. I don't think this will last much longer.
The following week, I was happy to celebrate Passover with my favorite lesbian comic rabbi, who embodies several of my favorite types of people. On the second night of Pesach, I gave N-man’s Daddy the only present I bought in Israel. I continue to appreciate my favorite little guy N-Man dragging his Daddy over to Club Adam to ensure that the baddies do not breach security while I am away.
Fortunately, my job was still waiting for me when I returned. For those loyal readers who like to keep score, the stock has rocketed up a whopping 80% in the 5 short months that they’ve employed me. Unfortunately, a rapid rise like this typically correlates with the loss of my job immediately followed by a precipitous drop in the share price. I promise to keep you posted!
I’ve already started planning my annual birthday fundraiser. Rumor has it that my folks may attend and that My Favorite Girl Niece might bring her parents. Start your engines and checkbooks. Stay tuned for further information.
In Israel, in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.
--DG, 1956
Note to my new travel chaverim: As some of you know, I am writing a book about my travels, travails, travailler, and other (mis)adventures, and this is but the latest chapter. Since I did not get to know all of you as well as I would have liked, and presumably vice versa, I imagine you might not have an ongoing interest in these. Rest assured that I have no concern whatsoever if even though you admire the fact that I have a 100 mph serve, got close to being selected as an astronaut, and je ne suis pas seulement une autre jolie visage, you think that my writing blows. Since we all get too much email related to making some body parts bigger, other body parts smaller, and helping to spirit money out of Nigeria, I will not spam you any further unless you explicitly opt-in.
اًركش (šúkran) for playing.
©Adam Brody All rights reserved.
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