Preamble
In the poem that follows,
The rhyme scheme is AA,
For the lines written,
While in Israel, away.
For those keeping score,
You'll be interested to see,
That for what's written since,
The scheme is ABCB.
Travel
I had a business class ticket,
For my flights both ways,
On that wonderful airline,
British Airways.
They fed me well,
And gave me a big seat,
And the time in the airport lounges,
Could not be beat.
Before I left SFO,
I ate finger sandwiches and other tasters,
Washing it all down with,
Courvosier, champagne, and beer chasers.
I had a few hours in London,
And that was enough time to see,
The beautiful London weather,
Rain 4-5 times on me.
I got back to Heathrow,
At a reasonable hour,
In addition to the food and drink,
I took a refreshing shower.
After a few weeks,
I was ready to leave Israel,
Getting through the airport,
Was its usual ordeal.
Security leaving Israel,
Didn't search, but asked questions instead,
Like ''Do you attend synagogue regularly?''
''No, don't tell Grandma,'' I said.
On the return flight from Heathrow,
The final leg of my trek,
I was very thrilled to ride,
On a 747's upper deck.
For dinner that night,
I was really in the pink,
Not only did I have lobster,
But pasta with squid ink.
Customs in SFO tore apart my bags,
I think they were looking for pests,
But I had scary visions of,
The movie Midnight Express.
There was a pear in my bag
About which I had forgotten,
The drug dog found it,
Customs thought it was something ill gotten.
They told me there was a $1000 fine,
I said, ''You can keep the pear!''
How could I be punished,
After offering to share?
Destination
Here is the story of my Israel trip,
Pardon me please if my rhyme slips a bit.
We started out in Tel Aviv,
Our numbers would approach 400 before we would leave.
I got to town a bit early you see,
I wanted to do a wreck dive in the Med Sea.
The dive master didn't like my license, that louse,
So, instead I went to Ben Gurion's house.
The Museum of Art I visited the next day,
With my good friends Matisse, Magritte, and of course, Monet.
When the group arrived ,
We hopped on our bus,
In no time we hit a taxi,
And that meant delays for us.
We scored a new bus,
And another driver,
We had a fun time,
Giving him a high fiver.
Ultimately, we visited Independence Hall,
This place became famous long after King Saul.
The next day we went to the Diaspora Museum,
To research our roots, I was looking forward to seeing 'em.
After Chinese food one night in Tiberias,
We had a dance party on a boat,
The music was too loud,
Of that we all took note.
We toured the Kinneret,
The Lake could not be tamer,
As we made many new friends,
And danced the Macarena.
That song followed us from town to town,
And that, by me, was OK,
'Cause the one I really minded,
Was the one called YMCA.
The loud music on the boat,
Made us hard of hearing,
Fortunately, that faded as fast,
As my chemoluminescent green earring.
Afterwards, I took a midnight swim,
In the Sea of Galilee,
No walking on water that night,
That's the wrong religion, you see.
We visited our sister city, Qiryat Shimona,
At our kibbutz lunch I talked with a researcher named Ona.
My email address with her I left,
I'm eager to see what the Internet is like from right to left.
We also sat for a while in a bomb shelter,
Though they had cable TV, I'm sure they did swelter.
We took a jeep ride in the Heights of Golan,
With no fighting now, we were pleased to ride on.
The next day we explored Beit She'an,
The Romans built it 2000 years ago,
They came here for rest and relaxation,
That they could not forego.
The Ancients used it as a resort,
To be entertained and well fed,
Perhaps these were the beginnings,
Of the concept known as Club Med.
Finally, we made it to the Western Wall,
It was an emotional experience for most if not all.
I wore the yarmulke from my friend Paul's wedding,
He was at my side when I last did this thing.
The next day we visited and toured the Old City.
This place has been under siege for much of two millennia, what a pity.
I went to Orthodox services for a treat,
Those who know me well know I tend to jump with both feet.
Climbing Masada was an inspiration,
With lots of water and perspiration.
Floating in the Dead Sea was a lot of fun,
We had a long day in the hot sun.
The sulfur smelled like rotten eggs,
The girls were warned not to shave their legs.
We had a swell time at a Bedouin feast,
With chicken and hummos and BBQ beast.
The bellydancer showed us her new trick,
Though after watching for a while, I felt a bit sea sick.
We saw the site of Ammunition Hill,
Kosher fast food lunches made some of us ill.
We went on an archaeological dig,
And spelunked through some caves, only a few of which were big.
I uncovered some pottery shards,
That were a few thousand years old,
I brought some of them home,
But only after "OK" I was told.
At Yad Vashem, we said a prayer,
To remember the Holocaust, and those who perished there.
Many of the people,
Had parents who were survivors,
They led us in prayers,
And lit commemorative fires.
On a hillside, I planted a tree for GRANDMA,
I gave it a wonderful view,
Getting a little bit dirty,
Was the least that I could do.
I suspected that on this trip,
Sleep would be a luxury,
So to prevent getting sick,
I loaded up on vitamin C.
Near the end of the trip,
I started catching a cold,
To go out every night,
I shouldn't be so bold.
I knew that with a fever,
I would be best off in bed,
To see if I had one,
I had some girls kiss my forehead.
Actually, to be honest,
None of them took the bait,
They knew I was seeing Mom soon,
And for that I should wait.
A splinter group packed and went to Jordan,
It was a unique experience for all of us,
We learned that Jordan is home to most of the sites,
Famed in stories in the five books of Moses.
We saw the rock carvings at Petra,
A giant archaeological park,
Made famous by the Ford movie,
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
The hotel in Amman,
Won best of trip,
We were there from midnight to six,
So we slept only a bit.
The bathroom was lined in marble,
I wish I had one like that today,
I had a great time washing,
My feet in the bidet.
We climbed Jordan's Mt. Nebo,
To see the Promised Land Moses saw,
With the haze from the Dead Sea though,
My view of it was poor.
Of course I am no Moses,
It would be more than vain to claim to be,
I couldn't survive 40 years in the desert,
Nor part the Red Sea.
We crossed the Jordan River and returned to Jerusalem,
The tour was now officially over,
With nightfall and Shabbat approaching,
We had to make our own plans for cover.
Our tour guide was most excellent,
She showed us things our eyes couldn't see,
With her emotional speeches and Bible readings,
That was the best part for me.
My parents were in Israel on their own accord,
We made plans to rendezvous,
We had time for just a few meals,
And a site or two.
I took Mom and Dad,
To the Dome of the Rock,
Because I was leaving that night,
I was concerned about the clock.
Abe took Isaac there to sacrifice,
G_d stopped him at the last,
It was a powerful test of faith,
That is part of our collective past.
Mom picked up a guy on the street,
He turned out to be a Rabbi,
He invited us over for lunch,
Only hours before I would say bye bye.
We had a long walk to his house,
With machine gun and pistol escort,
His home was very crowded,
It was neither castle nor fort.
We had a crazy Sabbath lunch,
It took a very long time,
I'd like to describe it more,
But I'm having trouble with the rhyme.
Mom liked the food a bunch,
'Twas much better than her guess of fair,
But I was so hot, tired, and congested,
That to eat it I didn't care.
In turn, Dad made a speech,
Made it plain for all to hear,
That discussions and meals like this,
Have occurred in Jerusalem for many a year.
We had a marginal dinner,
Not as good as even hotel culture,
I went upstairs to finish packing,
And get ready for my departure.
I took a sherut to the airport,
It took almost 60 minutes,
It's not as much fun as a plane,
They don't even serve peanuts.
Many of my friends teased me,
For having my thumb up in a photo,
From the looks on their faces,
They must have thought I was a dodo.
By the end of the trip,
I was able to tell,
That I had won them over,
'Cause theirs were up as well!
So boker tov, erev tov, Shabbat, and shalom,
I hope you liked my little poem.
Perhaps not as good as one of Emma Lazarus,
I did my best to write one for #8 bus.
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