Best Man Speech at Eric's Wedding

Since I no longer have the luxury of talking to my Grands while doing my laundry every Sunday, I thought I would keep them alive by writing about them. Consequently, I dug the following out of the family archives. I hope you enjoy it.

The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.
--AL, 1863

When we were kids, Eric and I played tennis, chess, Monopoly, basketball and many other games together. I am 2 1/2 yrs older, and at 9, 10, 11, that is a big difference in mental and physical ability. Those advantages, and the fact that Eric was always a lot nicer than I was meant that I almost always won. Today’s event shows that Eric knew what was really important as it is clear that he has the winning hand with Alexandra. Also, as with the Bush brothers, there is evidence that suggests that maybe the younger one is the smarter one after all.

Mom said I had a lot of material with which to work and double dared me to come up with a good way to organize it. She was right. I had a big challenge and I struggled. Since Grandma is such a big fan of Letterman, I decided to organize my thoughts in a Top Ten List.

Top Ten Reasons I’m glad my favorite little brother and Alexandra are married

10. Two words: Nieces and Nephews.
9. Now I no longer need to keep burning my mouth in Chinese mustard contests.
8. Now someone else can hold his hand in the car wash.
7. Now maybe the lint trap in the dryer will be clean.
6. I like attending events where everyone knows that I’m the Best Man.
5. Now I no longer need to hide secret messages in walnuts.
4. Now maybe I can get back my old table at Glitter Gulch.
3. Now maybe Mom can take the goldfish and snowballs out of the freezer.
2. Now maybe some of the animal crackers will still have their heads.
1. Now maybe Mom and Grandma will get off my back and I can resume my pursuit of the Priesthood.

I promised to score Grandpa a few more drinks, so if you could all raise your glasses and help me toast the new couple…

Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Take care of your waitresses.

I have the following announcement: The Cousins Club, The Next Generation will be having a quarters tournament by the bar.

Takk for playing.

©Adam Brody All rights reserved.

If you liked what you read above, then please consider sending a donation to my brother’s non-profit employer.

Find more to read in the Table of Contents