Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
--NM, RW, RW, DG, 1973
Fourteen years, 16 jobs and 100 lifetimes ago I left my job as the lead UI designer for the space station’s largest payload. After a few consulting gigs (ignored in the previous total) I landed at Pacific Bell as the lead UI designer for the phone company’s largest internal product. Since this product was very important and had to be running 24 x 7, 13 of us each took turns carrying a cell phone and a pager for a week in case there was a problem.
Yes, it’s true, I actually had a cell phone years before everybody—except me—had one. (OK, OK, stop laughing and let me continue. Seriously, stop laughing.) At least I had one for one out of every 13 weeks for work. I tried to explain to my colleagues that if someone needed assistance because the product was not working that I would be useless in providing first aid and that giving me the duty phone once a quarter amounted to a lousy user experience to whomever would call. The check boxes and other controls that I strategically positioned on the screens could not break and I had no skills for fixing anything that could break.
As usual, my lobbying efforts failed. Consequently, when the phone rang, I would say, “reboot and I’ll get my best people right on it.” I would then return to whatever I was previously doing secure in knowing that I did what I was asked to do and that I was getting paid much more money for much less work than when I was at NASA.
The deeper I go in considering the vanities of popular reasoning, the lighter and more foolish I find them.
--GG, c1630
Fast forwarding to the present, some people seem to be amazed that my life is so much more active than theirs particularly since I lack the life-saving assistance of a cell phone. They wonder how I am able to travel more, attend more concerts, dinners, theater, parties and other activities without packing a cell in my utility belt. From my perspective, I don’t quite get their wonderment.
For years I’ve observed people on cell phones almost everywhere I go. I see people using their cells at weddings, religious services, in the bathroom, at concerts, at movies, at the theater, while driving, on the tennis courts, and many other places. Personally, when I’m at these events, I prefer to be present and attend to the business at hand, particularly in the bathroom.
Since I don’t like missing out on things, I’ve been wondering what I’ve been missing by not having a cell. As I’ve done with extremely popular movies and TV shows that somehow don’t appeal to me, I’ve spent a lot of cycles trying to find a need or use for a cell and I have yet to justify the purchase.
Since I and everyone I know have more things than we know what to do with, I am very particular about making purchases as I don’t want to add to the clutter, the landfill, or the complexity of my life. Consequently, I’ve long been a late adopter. For example, having hundreds of records and tapes, I waited as long as possible before buying CDs. When only a few albums were still being pressed in vinyl, however, I finally had to start buying CDs. (That’s not to say that I’m never on the leading edge. Over 15 years ago, I was one of the first to buy a surround sound processor and I still know very few people who own one.)
So I performed ethnographic research to learn the use cases for cells. People told me that they use them when they are late, lost, commuting, and to call long distance. Since the first two don’t apply to me, since I choose only employers that require short commutes, and since I currently pay less money for better long distance service than cells provide, I struck out here. I also learned that people have cells to keep in contact with their spouse and children. I unfortunately don’t yet have these needs. I know one or two people who use cells as their only phone. This would be my choice as I don’t want yet another place to have to check for messages and I don’t want to complicate other people’s lives by giving them yet another number for me.
Thinking about these use cases, I remembered that I’ve met people in Brussels, Amsterdam, Tel Aviv, Tiberias, London, and places closer to home armed with nothing more than an address. Similarly, when I invite someone to a concert, s/he says yes, I buy tickets, and we go and have a great time. Or, when someone invites me to play tennis, I accept, and I arrive ahead of schedule and under budget. I’m not quite sure where the cell is supposed to feature in any of those workflows. Unless...
I am a simple man
So I play a simple tune.
--GN, 1971
Many years and lifetimes ago, I met Howard Rheingold at my NASA Virtual Reality lab when he was writing his virtual reality book. Some years later, and already some years ago, I met him again as he was autographing my copy of his recent book, Smart Mobs. In it, he reports that cell phones enable kids in Japan to be late. Essentially, the cell serves as a license to be late. Similarly, in Norway, cells enable kids to postpone committing to activities in advance so they can decide on the spot. In both places, the cells let them be less disciplined regarding time and commitments. Since I don’t like missing out on things, I don’t want this happening to me.
Analogously, astronauts lose bone and muscle mass in space since they need less of each without the stress of gravity. People lose their mental faculties when they stop using them. People lose tennis skills when they don’t practice often. Essentially, talents and capabilities atrophy without the need for them. The other side of rising to a challenge is being spoiled by ease. I enjoy rising.
Although your mind’s opaque
Try thinking more if just for your own sake
The future still looks good
And you’ve got time to rectify
All the things that you should
Do what you want to do
And go where you’re going to
Think for yourself
’Cause I won’t be there with you
--GH, 1965
I’ve been very puzzled by the need that people claim they have for cell phones, a product that none of them had ten years ago. After all, Harriet Tubman didn’t need a cell phone to keep the Underground Railroad running on time. Sacajawea didn’t need a cell phone to guide Lewis and Clark around the country. Billie Jean King didn’t need a cell phone to beat Bobby Riggs in tennis. Marie Curie didn’t need a cell phone to win two Nobel prizes. Why do people need them all of a sudden?
No man or woman who tries to pursue an ideal in his or her own way is without enemies.
--DB, c1900
Some people report that they like to use their cells while they are driving. Studies show that driving under the influence of even a handheld cell phone is equivalent to driving while drinking, and frankly, I would rather have the cocktail than try to talk with someone over the road noise. Also, since I prefer to spend time with people rather than on the phone with them, and since a short commute plays a large role in my employer decisions, I don’t have these situations often. Finally, some people like to use cell phones to call long distance, but since I currently pay less money for better service than they do, this case doesn’t fit me either. I don’t mind if others love their cell phones, but for me, a cell phone is a solution in search of problems I don’t have.
On the other hand, when I was at a festival and I noticed a girl crying because she fell and scraped her knee, I reached into my backpack and handed her a few bandages. On several other occasions, a friend was cold at an outdoor concert and I reached into my bag and handed her a jacket. I’m 99 44/100% certain that in these cases my contingency tools provided more comfort and assistance than a cell phone would have provided. Similarly, I enjoy scuba diving and playing tennis. When I’m facing a shark 30 feet under water or facing a 100mph serve, I’m glad that I prefer to own a mask and a racquet as they support my lifestyle better than I believe a cell phone would.
Essentially, I prefer activities that don’t require cell phones such as playing tennis and scuba diving. Other people prefer activities where cell phones are needed such as being late, lost, non-committal and unreachable.
Finally, I’m reminded of a graduate school buddy who carried a pocket knife. He assured me that he found use for it every day. I have a few that live in drawers at home and I cannot recall a single day that I wish I had one with me. I guess I just don’t find that many things that need cutting on a routine basis.
But he has nothing on!
--HCA, 1837
Some people claim that having a cell makes them more accessible, but I have much more difficulty reaching people on their cells than any of them have reaching me. Regarding accessibility, I’m already more connected than most people. I’m near the phone and Internet 10-15 hours per day at home and 9-10 hours per day at work managing the many components of my empire. I respond to emails and phone messages within hours almost around the clock.
It is so easy to get a hold of me that strangers do so all the time! One way is via online networks. People sometimes comment about my large network on LinkedIn. In fact, LinkedIn was so impressed(?) with my profile that when I interviewed there, they told me that they used my profile in their mockups for design modifications. Similarly, my Friendster account is filled with hundreds of friends, some of whom who know me. My Facebook account is new and growing rapidly and my MySpace account gets so much attention from people who think I’m the actor on the O. C. that I had to deputize Goose to work the velvet rope as I attended to more pressing components of my empire.
Continuing my investigation, I’ve wondered when my cell would be on if I had one. When I’m playing tennis, biking, swimming, trying to blend in, at the theater, ass riding, window shopping, at a wedding, enjoying a sandwich, bathing, driving, taking a shower, relaxing, working out, having another sandwich, swinging free, entertaining the tennis club, at a concert, accepting my trophy, playing with kids, playing with my niece, jamming with the band, driving a car, training with the cadets, dancing, visiting my neighbor, hiking out of cell range, dressed to impress, dining, at a party, at a luau, at another concert, accepting my tennis club’s responsiveness award, at a protest, or when my hands are otherwise full I would not be available by cell phone even were I to have one. In any case, I prefer that the headhunters who call me daily leave me messages on my machine at home than disturb me during one of my events or at work.
I also don’t need one during the brief intermezzo times between these activities as it would just hamper my progress from one to the next. I couldn’t possibly squeeze any more into my life. Which activities should I sacrifice to make time available to talk on a cell? Frankly, I’m glad to be off the grid while I’m soaking in the hot tub between matches, for example. Like Mel Brooks’ and Carl Reiner’s 2000 year old man, who breast-fed for 200 years, and John Candy’s character in Splash, when something works for me, I stick with it.
I already have too many things competing for my attention and attendance. When I’m playing tennis, I’m thinking about what I’m having for lunch, if I can squeeze in a soak before my next activity, or what I’ll be doing the rest of the day or evening. When I’m in meetings, I’m thinking about whom to invite to a concert or party. (Don’t tell my boss.) I’m concerned about handling more distractions. If anything, I need more time being disconnected. I need my Shabbat.
Perfection, then, is finally achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
--AdSE, c1940
As we’ve seen before, I tend to blur my personal and professional lives. Just as with the preferences I’ve outlined above, I design products so that users are not lost. When people ask me to redesign an error message or dialog, I redesign the product to prevent the error from occurring. I eliminate steps in processes as users are not interested in processes but rather in accomplishing something. Finally, like other good user experience designers, I don’t use technology for technology’s sake; it has to provide value.
I have long believed that there is elegance in simplicity and I have been designing user interfaces accordingly. I once won an award for improving usability by removing pages from an installation routine. Indeed, lately there have been a lot of articles in the usability world concerning simplicity. While most experts agree with me that simplicity typically enhances usability, people often choose to buy products that are too complex to be usable. I prefer to keep Occam’s razor sharp and minimize complexity by not having yet another device that needs to be charged, checked for messages, carefully carried, and otherwise maintained. I have enough distractions in my life and prefer to be with the people who are with me at the concert or other event than with others on the phone.
We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
--SLC, 1900
Every time I receive an email from a friend asking me for my phone number because she lost her cell phone, every time someone asks me to call her back on another number because she’s low on batteries or minutes or it is a bad connection, every time I hear someone complain that she can’t afford a $15 dinner because she spends $40 a month on a cell phone, every time I see someone scramble to stifle her cell phone at a wedding, movie, or other event I can’t help but wonder if it’s all worth it.
I guess I just wasn’t made for these times
I guess I just wasn’t made for these times
I guess I just wasn’t made for these times
I guess I just wasn’t made for these times
I guess I just wasn’t made for these times
--BW, TA, 1966
Clearly, Madison Avenue, Solomon Asch, and the naked emperor have much better luck with others than with me.
Quod erat demonstrandum. Your witness. Release the flames.
Mellon, we need you.
--RD, GF, & DS, 1986
As those who know me well know, when I first applied to be an astronaut, I scored a Highly Qualified status as I made it through the first two cuts and got to within a few dozen people of an interview. For years since then, NASA annually flattered me by asking me to keep my application current. Several years ago, NASA finally admitted that they had more rookie astronauts than they had flight seats left in the shuttle program so they stopped selecting new astronauts.
Recently, however, the Manager of the Astronaut Selection Office asked me to submit my application for the Astronaut Candidate Program. I guess with missions to the moon and Mars in the near future, there are more flight seats becoming available. With my typically impeccable timing, I’ll probably get a cell phone right before they send me to the moon, and there won’t yet be towers there to deliver my calls.
Diolch for playing.
©Adam Brody All rights reserved.
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