May 8-14, 1995
I usually don't publish trip reports of this sort--there is a sort of pride, humility, mystery, and wisdom in this approach--but Jerry always does such a great job that I was inspired. Here goes!!
Last week I went to Denver for the Association of Computer Machinery Special Interest Group on Computer-Human Interaction (ACM SIGCHI) Conference. (Things were much easier when all I had to say was Aerospace Sciences Meeting!) I landed in the new Denver International Airport. It looked like Shoreline Amphitheater only the music wasn't as good and there wasn't as much parking. Also, the Grateful Dead were nowhere to be found. I was disappointed I didn't find the dinosaur bones uncovered during construction, but the subway ride to baggage collection was fun. Jerry picked me up at the airport and we began the trek downtown to my hotel. After 20 minutes, we finally made it to the airport exit. That place is big!
It took some amount of effort to convince my hotel that I actually had a reservation there. The confirmation I was clutching in my hand surprisingly provided very little assistance. This turned out to be foreshadowing for the rest of the week; people who tried to reach me by phone were told I was not a registered guest. I tried to use this to my advantage on checkout by arguing that since all week they were telling people I wasn't there, that maybe they were right and I did not need to pay. They didn't buy that argument.
After the smoke cleared, and maintenance removed the broken key from the door, we headed to the Coors Brewery. As soon as we entered the building, they asked us if we needed to use the rest room. I was very confused since we had not yet done any tasting. Must be some Colorado thing! We spent the next hour or so learning about worts, brewing, bottling, canning, and team speed beer drinking. (Only kidding!) We finally survived the tour and made it to the tasting room. I decided I needed a picture of myself behind the bar to demonstrate to my boss that I had other career options. The barmistress told me that it would cost $1 for a picture, and $5 if she were included. I counter-offered, "Or it's free if I send you a copy, right?" "Yes." My new negotiating skills came in handy! I positioned myself behind a suitable implement in preparation for the Kodak moment. Jerry encouraged me to make it an action photo and I opened the tap. That annoyed the barmistress who was worried either about job security or ATF agents busting down the doors in pursuit of an unlicensed beer pourer. Another place I can't go back to!
We then went back to the hotel bar to check out the happy hour and wait for the members of the Cousins Club, the Next Generation to assemble for our meeting. While waiting, we finished all the margaritas and mini egg rolls the hotel had to offer. Once again, Brooke was the only other member to show up. (We're still waiting for your dues Eric and Todd!) After struggling to finish half a glass of wine, Brooke concludes that Jerry is unfit to drive after eating so many egg rolls! I pulled rank and we got into Jerry's car. Brooke navigated us to a favorite Chinese restaurant, but not before guiding us through 3 consecutive round trips of the same block! OK Brooke, next time you can drive!
It turned out to be a great meal, but I was the only one who received a clean plate award. I also received a particularly revealing and inspirational fortune in my cookie, but I can't remember it at the moment. We parted after dinner with separate plans to meet again later in the week. After leaving Dr. N a note complaining that her snoring was preventing me from getting all the beauty sleep I needed, I retired for the evening.
The conference turned out to be excellent. They had great snacks during the breaks and I was able to collect almost every color Microsoft squeezy ball!
One of my colleagues reported that my boss was annoyed that I was wearing a suit, but when my boss finally found me a few days later, she did not say a word about it. She claimed that she heard that I was kicked out of every bar in town the previous night. I have always had trouble reading my boss, so I could not tell if she said this with pride or regret, awe or lamentation. I responded that I actually missed one bar; again, I could not interpret her reaction. In the interest of good humor and brevity (if that is still possible), I will end my description of the business part of my visit here.
The next night, Jerry and the Jenerator took me out for a wonderful meal at the Mall Exchange, and a night of beer sampling. We went through a bunch of little glasses at Rock Bottom and then went in search of the newly opened Coors Field. We somehow wound up at the Civic Center and I was very excited to lead the team to the City Hall step located at exactly 5280 feet. (That explains that Mile High City thing famed in song and story!) We were puzzled by the Columbus statue and the Gettysburg Address plaque, but we did a little Rocky dance on the steps and moved on.
We passed by the Adams Mark Hotel on the way to LoDo and we stopped in so I could leave a message for the Drs. K. I could not convince the desk staff that my friends were actually inmates at his establishment so the trip turned out to be in vain. Oh well, more beer for us!
We finally found Coors Field as the game was ending, but guards would not let us inside to check the place out. Fortunately, the Chophouse Restaurant and Brewery was across the street and we went inside to do another round of little glasses. I was excited to find barrels of peanuts and had a great time throwing the shells on the ground just like at St. James Infirmary. We then went down to the Wynkoop to conquer another round of samplers including the Raspberry Mead. Somehow, we remembered signs of a Planetary Ale (or something) at Rock Bottom so we went back for a nightcap. Unfortunately, they had run out of it a month before so we had to settle for a few free tastes and a couple of pints, just in case.
The next morning, when I was channel surfing for CNN, I stumbled upon a great Scooby-Doo episode. It was the one where. . . oh never mind!
That night was a reception at the Natural History Museum. Lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my! I could not locate any of my PacBell colleagues. I hope everybody was OK (and that no one had any more to drink than I did!)
Thursday morning was the annual Toronto chapter (TorCHI) challenge to the other regional CHI chapters. This year's event turned out to be a sort of pseudo rock-climbing contest. Thanks to my mentress, Dr. E, I was volunteered to be captain of the BayCHI team. The event got rough at times and I had to body check the troll out of the way to make the final score. The carpet burns on my knuckles are slowly healing. I'll post the URL with photos as soon as I get it.
Thursday night, Brooke took me back to her place for dinner with my X-Aunt. We had a great time telling Grandma stories and trying to remember Gus' age. It's amazing how much fun one can have dosed up on lemonade and ziti! Brooke had been promising me a spaghetti dinner for many years, but she got her Mom to do the dirty work this time. I'll have to raise the ante for the next dinner. One of the highlights of the night was seeing a funny Seinfeld episode. Actually, to claim that the whole show was funny would be an overstatement. It had a few funny moments, which is much more than I could have hoped for. (Probably another lemonade artifact!) I have struggled for years to find the humor in several extremely popular shows based on dweeby, pathetic, whiny, dopey, creatures. Seinfeld's companions on this list include Married With Children, Murphy Brown, and Northern Exposure. Maybe the show's standards are getting better; hopefully, mine aren't getting lower. I'll take the Simpson's, 60 Minutes, or Letterman any day.
Friday, Jerry took me back to his place in Boulder. We played in the Pearl Street Mall and gave the coffee babe at Cafe Mars a hard time. We then visited the Mountain Sun Brewery to counteract the coffee. Next, we checked out a great band at a Commencement party. We were the only non-parents excluded from the under-30 picture. Thanks for shortening the line at the keg! That night we went to another Commencement party. We stopped by the Dark Horse (a sister bar to St. James) on the way, which reminded of the time I was taking Eric out for dinner in DC and he had to make himself a bowl of cereal so he could survive the walk to Georgetown!
The Dow Jones Industrial Average hit its fifth record level in as many days, which just goes to show that it does not need my frequent monitoring on the World Wide Web to do well. If this is not the mark of a successful business trip, I don't know what is!
On Saturday, we went hiking at Eldora Canyon State Park. We were trying to find rattlesnakes on the Rattlesnake Gulch trail, but we got lost instead and ended up on the Fowler Trail. (Aren't you relieved Grandma?) We did find a chain gang and a cool aqueduct and tried to recreate a few scenes from The Fugitive, but it just wasn't the same without Tommy Lee Jones. We never did find the ruins of the Crags Hotel and we wound up in someone's backyard in Eldorado Springs.
After hiking, we went back to Boulder for the last Ultimate Frisbee games before playoffs. For some reason, Jer and Jen were playing on widely separated fields so I had to hike to spread my mascot influence. I managed to time it just right to see each of them make touchdowns. Yea team! I also viewed Jerry's attempt to match Wayne Bobbit using a blocked pass instead of a knife. Interesting technique! Jerry went down and all the girls were wondering why all the guys were cringing. At the party that night, Jen assured everybody that everything was OK. Phew, that was close! I told you that you should have been Jewish, Jer!
The party Saturday night at the Pub at the Rockies Brewing Company was excellent. Lots of beer and a magnificent "Wingdom." It was raining, so we had to bring the band inside. Things got a little crowded, but it all worked out and everyone had a great time. The band was great and the sound was at such a comfortable level that I was able to maintain my customary place front and center the entire night. I think it must have appeared that I was the only one to recognize all the cover songs because when the band finished their set, they introduced themselves to me! They were very grateful for my support.
Before I forget, I should mention that Jerry cooked up a storm the whole time I was visiting. Pancakes, sausages, OJ, pasta, and a generous supply of vitamin C and potassium tablets just in case. I could tell that our cooking group my Freshman year had a great effect on him. The only things I can still make for myself are pasta, tuna sandwiches, and the occasional TV dinner!
Sunday we went hiking in the Wild Basin Area in Rocky Mountain National Park. It was almost 8 years to the day from when I first visited the park with Suzi and Jeannie en route to California. Very nostalgic. We hiked past Copeland Falls, but couldn't make it to Calypso Cascades because of the abundance of snow still remaining in the park. We were not prepared for the snow and I had to be extra cautious to not re-injure my ankle. (It's been a while since I won a tennis tournament and I think there might be room for one more trophy amidst the wreckage at Chez Disaster.) I did manage to take advantage of a few Kodak moments and I kept everybody entertained with favorite lines from Back to School, M*A*S*H, and the Little Rascals. Some things never change!
We went to an all-you-can-swallow salad place for dinner. (We promised Jerry that he could find some fat in some of the salad dressings.) We had only 30 minutes before I had to leave for the airport. I usually spend hours in these salad places, so they got off very easy. I instructed Jer and Jen to return to finish up after dropping me off at the airport. I made it to the airport with plenty of time to spare. Unfortunately, the weather at SFO was not as cooperative as the local traffic, and I had to sit in the plane for an hour before takeoff. This is reminiscent of my previous visit when we forwent all-you-can-swallow ribs because I had to catch a flight. I sat in the airport for a while that time as well. And that was after we called the airline from the restaurant and they said everything was on time! At least I didn't have to sit between two fat ladies who smoke; there is no more smoking on domestic flights!
After landing, I made it back to my car, and my mirror was still hanging after two failed repair attempts. I was met at home with 60 email messages and the second longest beep I've ever heard on my answering machine. None of the messages were from either Ed McMahon or the Astronaut Office. I could have stayed away longer!
That's about it for the trip. With all due respect to Suzi, Jacqueline, Mama Ping, Doc's spirit in Strobe Alley, Mary Chung's, the guy with the globe, the Minuteman Statue, and other favored people in the Boston area, visiting with Jerry was a better college reunion than actually attending the official one. Since most of my MIT friends were not my year, and most of those who were are not planning on attending, I had been struggling to collect enough justification to attend my reunion. Of course, I really don't need much of an inducement to return to MIT, but I have been fortunate to have had a few visits in the past few years and so I am not as desperate as I might have been otherwise. Since Jerry is a student again, visiting and partying with him reminded me of what my college life was like 10 years ago better than a Boston Pops concert with strangers ever could. Thanks again, Jer! I'm already looking forward to returning for the party after the summer league finishes
Now I'm back in the real world. Back to counting the goats and chocolate milk cows on the way to work. Back to spraying the hook to keep the cooties off my towel in the gym. (Thanks Kevin!) Back to pondering why we still have to walk up two floors even though our new offices are one floor lower. Back to Direct Reports, Job Fulfillment, and Bold Goals.
Stay tuned for the report of my visit to DC and NY next week. In DC I plan to visit FBI HQ to see if I recognize any of the pictures on the walls. I also intend to check out the reception rooms at the State Department to see if there are any loose egg rolls they neglected to clean up. Furthermore, I'm hoping to get a picture of my name on the honor role of founding sponsors of the Holocaust Museum. For dinner, I am looking forward to catching up with Jack, Rich & Ann, Joe, and Jim & Theresa. I'm especially looking forward to meeting Jack's fiancee, Monica, for the first time. I introduced myself to her over the phone as a childhood friend of Jack's. I heard the recognition click in her head as she responded, "Oh yeah, you're the smart one!" I like her already!
In NY, I'll visit all the Grands, whom I always leave in better shape than when I find them. I'll also let the parental units feed me a few times. Hopefully, I can get Mom to demonstrate her award-winning photography skills and take my picture with Sirajul and Mujibur (or at least Rupert). If I'm really fortunate, maybe I can get Dad to let me win a few games from him in tennis. I'm due for a win after all these years! I'm also looking forward to seeing Mama Deb, Papa Paul, and meeting Baby Jessica to see if the strange sounds that she makes are more entertaining than her Dad's.
Respectfully submitted,
AB
Proprietor of Zen West
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