Sitting in Limbo

Many people have been asking me how I have been keeping myself busy now that I am retired. As I have told them, my days have been very busy with swimming, biking, tennis, working out, lunch with friends, Letterman, the Little Rascals, and of course, margaritas and Oprah! I have also been building a rocket and I have been surveying the gardens around my place looking for an appropriate pilot. The days have been flying by and hopefully the rocket will be too! Since people are asking for more details, though, I've provided them below.

In addition to the previously mentioned activities, I also spend several hours a day on email and surfing the web. I bought a wireless Internet card and long-range 2.4-gigahertz phone so I can sit outside by the pool with my laptop and command my empire in between laps. Recently, a woman in a string bikini walked by and inquired about my activities. I explained to her the freedom that wireless connectivity affords. She shared some stories with me about how wireless solutions have helped her in the past. We each learned quite a bit! Just then, one of us got disconnected and unfortunately, it was I. This must be one of those "You had to be there" stories as it is not nearly as enjoyable in black and white as it was poolside.

Sitting here in limbo, but I know it won't be long.
Sitting here in limbo, like a bird without a song. --JC, GB

In activities related to work and career, I went back to NASA a few times recently to serve as a test subject in some studies there. They were all in buildings where I previously worked and I enjoyed bumping into some former colleagues who are still there. One of the studies was in one of my old labs and a former colleague regrettably offered that none of the research that I began there was continuing. Another colleague strongly encouraged me to return to NASA, since he claimed the softball team had not been the same since I left. Indeed, P took me out to lunch as part of her lobbying to reunite us as the best battery that the league had ever had.

Another study in which I participated was located in the first building I inhabited at Ames. This building was renowned for being one of the most dangerous buildings on the west coast. I was reminded of this illustrious status during my recent visit by the warning to not use the water fountains as Legionnaire's disease had be discovered in the building. I think the softball team is just going to have to make do without me!

In unrelated NASA news, the Astronaut Selection Office just thanked me for answering their request to update my application. Seemingly like other potential employers, though, their selection is on hold and so they are neither rejecting my application, nor calling me in for an interview. Since they have already told me that I am highly qualified and I have made it through the first two cuts and within 50 people of an interview, they really have nothing else to say to me. They did request that I notify them of a change of address, though, so they know where to find me when they need me. I guess they don't have the same resources as the dozens of charities that never seem to lose track of my whereabouts.

Sitting here in limbo, waiting for the dice to roll.
Sitting here in limbo, got some time to search my soul. --JC, GB

I have also been doing some interviewing to get the headhunters off my back. As always, I have had some interesting experiences. Like the one with the television recording company that insisted that I violate my previous confidentiality agreements just to be eligible for an interview. When I told them that my friends value my integrity and that I was not going to sacrifice it for a job, they stopped returning my calls.

This was in stark contrast to the experience I had at the handheld pda company, which after inviting me in for an interview, made me promise NOT to reveal confidential work that I had done elsewhere. Clearly, this company has a better culture. Also, I told them that I liked the fact that they listed a good sense of humor as one of the requirements for the position. I told them that I could fake my way through their other requirements, but the sense of humor I had down! I am expecting a repeat visit soon. I'll be here all week; take care of your waitresses.

Another thing that I preferred at this company is that their conference rooms are named after famous astronauts and they located me in the Buzz Aldrin room. This got me to relive some of my Buzz memories like the picture I have of him asking me for my autograph at the VIP section of a shuttle launch, and the fact that I was honored to see him in the audience while I was presenting my work at a NASA workshop years ago.

One startup, located in downtown Mountain View, told me that they want to hire me, but they still need to sell the job to their CEO. It reminds me of the days back in the Placement Office at MIT, when the aerospace companies would come through interviewing and collecting resumes just in case they ever received any funding to do any work. Another analogy unfortunately comes to mind, but it is not appropriate for mention here.

I don't know where life will lead me, but I know where I've been.
I can't say what life will show me, but I know what I've seen. --JC, GB

With or without work, one of the highlights of my week still is calling Grandma. We have the same conversation every week, and there is a lot to be said for the comfort of stability and consistency.

Hi Grandma, what time it is. Well, let's see. It is 1:00 here… subtract 3…carry the one… No, no, no Grandma, what time is it? Oh, that's right, it's laundry time. What are you doing now, loading the dryer? No Grandma, I'm folding. You know that I always save the best part for you! Oh, that's good. I really appreciate that.

Grandma's always been the smart one, though, and she must realize that our conversations last much longer than the time it takes me to track and capture the last wayward sock. Usually our conversations continue as follows:

Do you ever hear from your brother?
No, married people stop keeping in touch after they get married.
Oh, I don't know, we kept in touch with people after we got married.
Yeah, but that was a hundred years ago, Grandma.
Yes, that was a hundred years ago.

This little boy is moving on. --JC, GB

In other activities, I'm getting ready for Scooby's wedding in Hawaii. This includes seeing the Scooby Doo movie as a warm-up exercise and finding my scuba mask. In addition to the wedding festivities, I'm planning to bike down a volcano at sunrise and take a sunset cruise at, uh, sunset. I have also planned some dives for Molokini, an excursion to the rainforest, my annual luau indulgence, and dinners at the best restaurants on the island. I'm greatly looking forward to staying at the Ritz Carlton. I have not been to a Ritz since after my college commencement. That was several years ago and since we've all almost recovered, I figure that it is time for a repeat visit.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the tide to flow.
Sitting here in limbo knowing that I have to go. --JC, GB

For those of you still reading, I am still hoping to do some other traveling. Unfortunately, my calendar over the next few months is littered like a minefield with at least one tennis event every week. I have team matches, tournaments, and board meetings through the summer. Concert Junior keeps telling me that he gets very lonely without my company and assistance on his side of the court, so I don't want to leave him stranded. Also, he insists that the team has a better chance of making the Playoffs with my contributions, so I guess that I had better not go away until after the season is over. On the other hand, I imagine that if he hears one more "5-4 shut the door" that I'll be out the door!

In other tennis news, I am somehow President of the Club again. I think it is because there are many new members in the Club and so they don't remember the last time. I was sitting in the stands during one of our tournaments when I noticed a bunch of new members. I figured it would be a good idea to dress as a peasant and slip in amongst them to see what they are saying about me. "What do you think of our President? He's a real idiot, isn't he," I inquired. A member replied, "He sure is, and I'm from Texas!" That was not the answer I was expecting, but since it was much funnier, I'll take it.

I have also been planning my annual birthday fundraiser extravaganza. This year, I am planning to put more fun in the fundraising and increase the usability of the matching component. I was planning to triple the amount of matching, but I may have to put some of that on hold until the occasion of employment helps to unfreeze my assets. In any case, I am already reloading the magic "Charity-Just Do It" drug reward chest in preparation. Details will be forthcoming.

It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got. --CC

Recently, a clothes company sent me a bra. Since I don't have slingshots kicking around my kitchen as often as I'd like, I was not in any hurry to deal with it. A week later, I received an email from a company saying they sent me a bra by mistake. "I know," I replied. They asked if I would return it if they sent me a mailing label. "I'd be happy to send it back to you. It was not my size anyway." They thanked me for returning it and sent me a $20 gift certificate for my humor. I'm so excited; it's the first time that I've been paid for a joke!

I met someone recently who was intrigued that I wrote a book about my life experiences a few years ago. She wondered whether it featured any dating experiences. I told her that my writing style was more a combination of Mark Twain, Lewis Carroll, and Richard Feynman than Stephen King, Mary Shelley, and Edgar Allen Poe. Hopefully this missive follows in the same tradition.

© Adam Brody

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